can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
