We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
