hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
