I want to walk on stilts...naked
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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