they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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