Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize