i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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