have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
