Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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