This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I will pee on everything he values.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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