yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
