I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
