Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
