just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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