i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
