Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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