awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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