I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
