There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Randomize
