I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I looked at my own cervix.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
