Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
