i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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