Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
