Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
