Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
