Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize