He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
my liver is dry heaving
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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