everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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