He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
