your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
