I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
