god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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