I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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