I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
