there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
