I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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