I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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