Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
