I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
