Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
