I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
