Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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