Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
