I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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