Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
