you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
