Your dad touched me again.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
