hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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