I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just forgot I was standing up.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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