he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
